I still have an old draft sitting my dashboard from May..Epic fail. I will update the old one and post anyway but it goes to show how incredibly busy I’ve been.
Since May I have dated a few different guys, nothing serious until this past September. One of the men I had been talking to, became friends with, and got to know since the beginning of July finally bit the bullet. I had been seeing him exclusively since mid-August and although both of us were a tad scared and commitmentphobes (due to our last relationships) we decided it was the right time. He asked of course.
I waited patiently for him to be ready to ask. Something that was a big step for me. Usually I wouldn’t have waited and moved on. He has taught me a lot. Although i don’t want to give him all the credit. I think it is a culmination of getting older and realizing and accepting certain flaws and actively working to change them. Also, meeting the right person at the right time may also want to make you a better person.
He is a 32. Quite a few years older than me. A nice change from the young ones I’ve been accustomed to. He works in entertainment, similar to me. Crazy busy schedule, like me. Hardly any free time and the cherry on top…he lives 2 hours away. Lots of things working against us right?
It’s hard to explain that feeling when you “just know”. I know that he the man for me. Everyone always said it would be hard to explain and it is. It just kind of happens. Our entire story is like something out of a movie and so many things have worked against us, or happened that would/should have prevented us from being together. Between my awkward dating antics and innocent nature he should have ran for the hills long ago but here we are. Crazy, in love and see ridiculously happy with each other.
We definitely have had our roller coaster moments but some how we always seem to work it out. The distance is hard but the second we see each other its like the world disappears and there is only us. We cant stay mad. We talk things out and eventually we both concede.
In the past we both were people who stood our ground. Stubborn. Hard headed. It was as I treated my past arguments like “Mexican standoffs,” no one could advance safely and no withdrawals allowed. Once you were in, you were in.
With him, I fold. I get my point across, I forgive, I say I’m sorry, whatever the right, mature thing to do is, I do it and it’s EASY.
What!? Never in a million years would I have thought I become like this. Crazy how people change and how the right person can change you.
Things can be so easy but at the same time so hard. I thought with time the little things would work themselves out. I love him and I do believe he is the one but at what point is him being the one and me questioning his feelings about certain things become too much.
Sometimes he does things that make me question his commitment to it all. I definitely have way more experience in the relationship, commitment, living with boyfriends, knowing how to show people you love them kinda details. Alternate posts to follow. Weigh in for me!
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LiloLoudly
SometimesYouWonderAboutMe 